Tuesday, July 19, 2011

a funny thing happened on the way to 50

This is my foot. This is my foot at 50. I have two of them, but the picture didn't come out so well with both of them featured. Here's the thing that you maybe can't see: this foot is pink with sunburn because, apparently, it doesn't matter what age I am, I still forget to put sunscreen on those tender bits that never see the light of day, like the tops of feet. hmmm.

These feet, though, have carried me through a whole lot of adventures. They've danced, run, skipped, and walked many streets. They still do that, but in the last couple of weeks they've also been put to the test of resisting the desire to run away (more figuratively than literally) as it seemed the wheels were coming off the (metaphorical) vehicle that had been carrying my day to day forward. The new job I'd started which allowed me to earn a comfortable sum while also having time for my writing came quite suddenly and unexpectedly crashing to a halt; the book proposal I'd been crafting and had turned in seemingly ready to peddle was rethought by the agent as needing a complete rewrite; the apartment I own (which, by the way, is mortgaged by an institution so onerous that even a money manager I spoke to said "Oh, they're...er... tough...," when I told him how many times they'd denied my petition to lower my rate), anyway, the tenants who the day before were ready to re-sign the sublet lease changed their mind and said they'd be moving. This all unfolded over a few day period and I swear I felt a little like I was living in a wack-a-mole game, as if life's mallet was landing squarely on my head over and over. MiHoney said, between giving me cocktails, kleenex and hugs, Sometimes you need to shake things up, get through the logjam and get to the other side. Philosophically, even spiritually, I knew this to be true, but I still didn't want any of it to be happening. (He also said "Do three things" which seemed highly doable. action. i do like that.)

So I was in it. A few days away from the half-century mark of my life and I had a choice: a) feel sorry for myself, b) get on with it, c) change my identity and have those feet carry me away. I went with a) for a bit, ruminated on c) for a second, and settled on b). So the wheels came off the vehicle that I thought was carrying me so securely, it was time to fashion another one. And a funny thing happened as I investigated how that might look: I got a call from an old friend who works for a London magazine asking if I'd be interested in being sent to Seattle to write about the 20th anniversary of the release of Nevermind; a woman who is singing at the Metropolitan Opera this fall is going to sublet my apartment; the onerous bank is quiet for now as my accounts are brought up to date. Three things and beyond.

Then the weekend came for my birthday and it was glorious! Blue, blue skies, the sun shining, and fluffy clouds. And after a brief period of motoring, mihoney and I ended up at a ritzy beach village where many adventures ensued. Watching the local firemen douse a spontaneous car fire, I thought that was a kind of apt, though maybe over-the-top, way to welcome us to the area (no humans or animals were hurt in the process, only a very cool, old Corvette suffered), a moment that was followed—in no particular order—by amazing swims in the ocean, a stay in an old, awesome bed&breakfast, sipping G&T's on our terrace, laughing a lot, wandering the town to find limes and tonic (we discovered the people of this town have no concept of distance), Rudy Giulliani blocking our path on the sidewalk, bum-rushing an art opening where free champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries were enjoyed, helping a bicyclist who was grazed and dumped off his bike by a car, watching a valet relay race outside a ritzy party, eating amazing food, and, did I mention floating and paddling in the vast and magical ocean? Oh, and getting a little sunburn...

On the way back from this wonderland of fun, as we were a few blocks from home, mihoney asked me to remind him to make an appointment with a physical therapist for a hip situation and I asked him to remind me to file for unemployment, and it suddenly seemed funny. How that was just a snapshot where we are in our existence. The ups, the downs, the sideways. And I smiled to think what a good, strange brew this life can be.

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