starting

Three years ago, thereabouts, my then-husband took off cross country. Our marriage was done. I was living in the state of numb. Mind you, I'd been residing in that place for probably longer than the time it took for him to let me know we were no more. In fact, my body had taken up residence there from almost the moment we had gotten married. I figured I had gotten in enough trouble already (see I Became a Rock Journalist mention, December 29). So I traded in the intimate when we got married for: Stability. Trust. These were new entries in my relationship book.

In May of 2007, almost a year after he left and at the age of 45, I walked into the S Factor (http://sfactor.com/) studio in NYC looking for a cross-training opportunity for my first marathon. I figured some loud music and a little dancing would be the perfect balance to the pavement pounding. Get my core strong and all that. Really. I had no idea. I can't stress that enough: I had no idea...the journey I'd enter into with my body, with my soul, with my entire being and parts of me I didn't even know existed. The ones that I'd pushed down deep inside during my intimacy-void marriage. I couldn't predict the absolute bliss and terror (toggling almost equally back and forth between) that I'd go through as I dived—and continue to dive two years and seven months later—deeper into it. I suspect the it will continue to reveal itself as long as I keep going and pay attention. Sometimes that's a bitch of a thing to do, but nobody reading this will find that a surprise.

I also discovered my scrappy side when I challenged my then-employer, a large magazine publishing outfit in NYC, to reimburse me for my classes under their health club policy. When the benefits guy kept rejecting my receipts, I got him on the phone and so thoroughly kerfluffled him with the logic that he need not be scared of the fact that although he might equate the pole featured on the Web site with, uh, I don't know...a stripper, that he was not in fact supporting a new career move for me, but he was, unbeknownst to both of us, supporting my complete life change. He finally gave in and reimbursed me (this also followed on the heels of my compiling a dossier of every starlet that had appeared in every magazine published in the flagship who'd name-checked S Factor as an amazing workout...so there).

And so it began...and more on that to come.