Slowly I turn...toward my dreams. The nocturnal ones. The last couple of nights, while my eyes have been closed my inner view has been really moving and shaking.
Wednesday night I came out of class with a lot to think about, or rather, with a desire to let go of so much thinking. I made my way home, made some dinner and made some waves in the tub. I drifted off to sleep a lot softer (inside and out) than I'd woken up. In the early morning hours I had a dream that I was sitting across from an older woman at a restaurant. She asked me to go and get the salad she'd ordered from the kitchen. I went to the kitchen but no salad was there. I asked the few guys who were behind the counter about this salad and they said it was there but someone took it. I asked them to make me another one and they all said No. I asked again. Again, No. I began to plead, but No. Then I started to get really pissed and yelled Why can't you just do what I ask? I was beyond mad and shaking. One guy angrily threw some leaves in a bowl and tossed it at me. I grabbed it, turned and left the restaurant to go back to the woman thinking she'd be wondering where I was. I stopped at what I thought was a red light, but when I looked up it was green. I finally found her sitting at the same table waiting. En route, the salad had turned into a chile relleno!?!?! When I put it in front of her, she glared at me with eyes of contempt. She angrily got up, grabbed the plate and headed for, what I figured, was the kitchen. I put my head down on the table and began to sob, thinking, I can't do it right. I woke myself up with my tears.
Last night, I was running in a marathon and I was pretty much on my own as I noticed all kinds of people around me were falling to the ground in distress. But I didn't feel bad, though I was confused about why so many people were going down. I realized I was barely half way there but I was pretty sure I could finish.
And now winkin', blinkin' and nod again. What views will this night bring?
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